HARRY POTTER AND THE KND

Okay.

So one day I'm walking down the hall

of Curious Pictures.

It's, like, third or fourth season of

Codename: Kids Next Door

and I'm stomping around the studio 

in my usual rush.

When suddenly,

a lowly, unwashed intern

steps into my path.

She jabs a finger in my face

and growls,

You know people at Warner Brothers!

Taken aback,

my usual droll and witty riposte

was reduced to a quizzical, 

"huh?"

You know people at Warner Brothers!

she repeated, her glasses flashing 

and nostrils flaring.

I managed a weak, 

"uh huh?"

Her index finger, 

strengthened from months 

of pressing the copier button,

jabbed into my sternum.

Get us tickets to the world premiere of 

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban 

at Radio City Music Hall!

"I wouldn't even know who to ask for something like that!"

I replied cautiously,

(After recently becoming a father,

I had become more concerned 

regarding events that might 

affect my personal welfare)

JUST DO IT!

hissed the intern.

She shoved me backwards with her cast-iron finger

and stormed away.

With the immediate threat gone,

I instantly forgot the request and went about my business.

But later that day I just so happened to get a call from 

the wonderful woman who handled KND's merchandising.

Who worked...

 at Warner Brothers!!!

Here's how the conversation went down:

Soooooooo, if I wanted, let's say... a couple tickets to the 

Harry Potter premiere at Radio City, 

who would I call over there?

Are you serious?

I wouldn't even know who to talk to.

Oh, okay nevermind.

No big deal.

I'll just get killed by an intern

We hung up.

I made sure my will was in order.

And I went on with what might have been my last day on Earth.

A couple hours later,

the phone rang.

It was the merchandising lady again.

Hey, guess what?

I got you guys 20 tickets!

Whoa.

Like...

WHOA!

So after giving the scary intern two tickets,

(and saving one for me)

we raffled the rest off to the KND crew.

And it was 

AWESOME!

The stars were there!

There was free popcorn and soda!

And goody bags!

The only bummer was that since our baby was so new,

Mrs. Warburton couldn't go!

But I think she was just happy I was alive.

And the intern?

Alison Wilgus?

She eventually became a writer on KND.

Told you she was scary.