DUCKY TWACY ER!

Question: Did I watch the old
Warner Brothers Cartoons when I was a kid?

Answer: Does Mo Willems sell children's books?!

Wait...
I just answered a question with a question.
So let's ask a different one:

What was I doing when I WASN'T watching the old Warner Brothers Cartoons?

Answer: I was writing MORE Warner Brothers Cartoons!

Yup.
Armed with a typewriter
(there weren't none of yer fancy pants computer machines back then!)
I wrote up the funniest stories I could think up for my favorite TV characters!
And one of my favoritest was Duck Twacy.


Never mind that I had no idea who this spoof was even based on.
I just thought this cartoon was hysterical!
So I typed up new, even BETTERER stories!
Her's one for your reading pleasure:


Awesome, right?!

What?

Whaddaya mean "NO"?

Oh c'mon... I was ELEVEN!

How about this one:


Still no?

Really?

Well, regardless of your (lousy) taste level, here are some scholarly notes on these masterpieces:

• When my Mother read these stories she decided to give me a quick lesson regarding such youthful topics as copyright infringement and plagiarism. But I quickly remedied the situation by grabbing a pencil and hastily changing all the names to Duck Twacer instead of Duck Twacy.
There.
Problem solved.

• In the original short there's a sequence where Duck Twacy is surrounded by villains and he rapidly calls out their names. Pickle Puss! 88 Teeth! Eraser Head ("I'm gonna rub ya out!"), Neon Noodle! etc etc. I had fun making up stories for some of these guys. For instance:


• Using a typewriter was HARD. There was no DELETE button so you had to make sure you were pressing the right key EVERY TIME. I threw out a lot of pages after making too many typos.

• Similarly, please note the fancy way I typed Duck Twacy at the end of the first story. That was high tech stuff back then.

Unfortunately, my writing hasn't really evolved that much over the years.
But thanks for saving this kinda stuff, Mom!